The cryptic way

Hi,

There is a friend of mine, Nikhil who says.. 'Srini you are smart, you know.' But before I blush.. bang comes his remark, 'But you shud realise you are crazy.' Well, many friends of mine often wondered how would I be if I get philosophical.

According to me life is all cryptic. Ask anyone solving crosswords, U will get the same answer. Sometimes you have to frame clues and sometimes you have to solve them. Some girls are like Hindu Crossword which you would like to solve daily whenever you want to exercise your 'brains'. Then there are some gals like Young World puzzle for kids. Their brains cannot think beyond certain level. And all the clues you give them go waste, because they cannot solve cryptic puzzles. They keep framing direct clues for you which you can solve in a minute. Then there are Hindi crossword puzzles who cannot solve English clues. Then there are crosswords like that of 'Times' - the American kind of crosswords. These are the dudish gals (euphemism to pr@$). Like the grid of these crosswords, they lay bare with very few darkened squares here and there. Me being a fan of Hindu crosswords, would like gals who can frame and solve cryptic clues. Well, my apologies to anyone who has not followed this blog. No, don't accept that you can't understand cryptic messages. Instead, blame me for going mad, Young World puzzle solvers do think I am mad ;-)...

Its the time to disco...

Hi,

Let me continue with my blasting of Delhi. I talked about Delhi babes but not of Desi dudes. I call them hydrogen peroxide dudes. At my school our principal liked a guy who had his hair greyed by hydrogen peroxide. The principal happened to be a chemistry lecturer and he liked the idea that some student of his is making good use of some chemical he had worked on during his PhD. Coming back to Delhi dudes, these desi guys with a singing accent of Delhi never even bother to fake a good English accent and the so-called babe just falls for their biceps. The chidiya and thotha will startof there and go to the malls, go up and down the elevator spreading their deo smell everywhere. Then he takes her to Ansal Plaza where he answers one of her touches and slowly they cross the barriers and smooooooooooooochhhhhhhhhhh...... From there they will go to Nirula's, sit in the corner seat, the gal puts her lap on his and acts as if she has done something entirely socially acceptable. Lemme divert again. Talking of socially acceptable behaviour, one of our profs at IIT who also was our sysad used to appeal to us - 'Please don't open the web sites which you won't in front of your mom'. Arre...so much senti to stop porn viewing. Ok where were we..Nirula's... So this culture goes on. It reflects in the latest hit songs - 'Its the time to disco', 'Fanaa' - well, that is all ok. But the dudes should become modern in more ways than growing biceps and using deos. English with a bit more pseud accent would make him look more dudish... And for heaven's sake walk straight...

Rewind

Hi,

Now that my summer project is coming to a conclusion, I would like to get back to my original state. I would like to come back to the belief that business is all ethical and global. Companies actually are customer-oriented. They like to offer service to the customer because he is so important and they have got nothing else to do. I also want to believe that something called organisational culture exists and it distinguishes an organization from others. I want to believe that the source of motivation for the employees is not money alone. They don't work towards their personal goals but work in teams for the betterment of their organization. I also want to believe that HR cares for the company and their job is not just arranging cabs and giving pay checks. Bosses care for their subordinates and don't keep pressurizing them for their targets. Performance appraisal is done not on the basis of sales done alone. Other factors such as personal skills, commitment, blah blah.. play a major role in the appraisals done. Organizations work for offering good life to their employees and also their customers. Woww.........world looks great again....

Google....find this

Hi,

The other day I was browsing through net and gave a search string 'IITM blog' and was surprised that my blog was not there among the results. So I have decided that in my today's blog I will include all the terms that any friend of mine would have to enter to come upon my page like IITM, IIT madras, Indian Institute of Technology Madras, IIMK, IIM Kozhikode, Indian Institute of Management Kozhikode, Aalayance, Kans mama, KNS Srinivas, K.N.S.Srinivas, Danger, Phyter, fighter, GE Consumer finance, GE Countrywide, lunatic, mad, crazy, blog, web page, home page, webpage, homepage, blah blah blah

Kyonki main Kashtamer hun

Hi,

After having tried my hand in selling loans, I have found the right spelling of customer - 'Kasht'amer. Kasht yaani difficulty. Though I am wearing better clothes than him and am well groomed and educated, there is only one mistake I did. I approached him to sell something. That makes him my boss. Kitna time loge? Kya kya documents dikhaana padega, kitna charge karoge, agar mera income itna hai tho kitna loan milega. Main bhi kuchh kam nahin hun - Mujhse marketing ka gyan poochho, is product ke positioning ke baare mein poochho, kuchh bhi global poochho jawaab de doonga. But don't ask me practical questions. I will never give you direct answers.

The other day I approached a pakoda shop waala to ask him for some permission for using his shop for our marketing. I asked him, "Kya aap meri madat karoge?" He shoots his answer in perfect English, "What will I get in return?" Arre waah..yeh tho angreji bolne lagaa. His pseud accent and polished English reminded me of a bike ad. Don't remember clearly, but some gaonwaali ladkiyan suddenly speak in English when the bike passes by. Other than this pakodawaala, all other customers of mine would speak like, "wohi pichhwaade gali mein laal bathhi ke paas hai na aap ka daftar?" At the beginning I had some trouble understanding them. But now I am kind of accustomed to laal bathhis, phaataks, rail patri and gol chakkars.

TOMA among languages

I have found that telugu is not among the TOMA (for non-MBAs, TOMA=Top of the Mind Awareness) set of languages. The first time I meet someone, I can see them think with real focus...where is this guy from?...looks a lil like a northie...but hindi accent is different.. Can't be a tamilian or Mallu.. where else can he be from. And most of them would eventually ask me...Which place do you belong to? And only when I say Andhra..the land of Chandra Babu Naidu strikes their mind. Earlier it used to be called the land of Balaji (Tirupathi fame). Now it is identified with the big boss who rules the land. Most of them would then talk about Andhra pickles.. and Andhra food. At least there we are present in the TOMA set. Unfortunately most people don't know that Telugu is supposed to be the Italian of the East being a mellifluous language.

After Hindi, Telugu is spoken by most people in India. This reminds me of my tamilian friend who would argue that Hindi cannot be the national language just because it is spoken by the most..that way crow has to be the national bird. Very nice argument but that doesn't qualify Tamil to be the national language...it is far from peacock.... ;-)

A hell called Delhi

Hi,

Haven't updated my blog of late as I have been to Delhi for my Summer Project. Mumbai ke baare mein I heard a lot...be very careful there..people are bad...but I thought Delhi is a better place. I had a perception that Mumbai alone has mechanical life...but guys, Delhi is not behind. After having enjoyed the luxuries of Bangalore for one year, I am finding it very tough to adjust in Delhi. People are very harsh... I was thinking there will be good babes..but Punjabi kudi seems to be missing...or maybe she has put on lotsa weight. I had been travelling in city buses so far..but have decided to switch to autoes...after losing my mobile..too late :-((... Only good hangout I have been to so far was Ansal Plaza in South Ex. Really really waiting to get back to the heaven called Kozhikode...

My bowling skills

Mommy, mommy today I bowled a maiden over and took 2 wickets. Mom would always smile and accept that is true. But the truth was I was always considered the slowest bowler on earth. They say I can beat best of the batsmen by my pace. As quoted by Dixi (the-guy-who- was-my-senior-topped-at-IIT-in-aerospace-and-joined-IISc) “if Kans continues his run up after delivering the ball, he will reach the bat before the ball.” His other comments include “Kans has started his run up? Ok I will have my dinner and come back and hit the ball.” I dunno why these guys are so bothered about pace. In my view the best kind of ball is a slow ball yorker. The fact that I keep trying slow ball yorkers every ball is a different issue altogether. If you want to know more about cricket, please refer to my friend Avinash Iyer. To tell you more about my bowling, I also used to have the longest run up. My gallee cricket mate Subbu says I get tired after such a long run up that I lose energy before delivering the ball. That seems to be the reason behind my magical pace. I have only one answer to all these people. As Mahesh Bhatt said once opinions are like ar$#ho&*s, everyone has one.

Global Fundaes

Hi,

Now that CAT results are out, I remember the good old days when I used to think management is crap (now I am sure about it). At my office they used to hold managers' meet regularly and one of my colleagues badly wanted to become a manager because managers get a free pizza in the meeting. He believes nothing else happens in these meetings. I remember listening about one of the decisions made in one such meeting in a software company where the techies decided to use only small letters font because of some technical advantage compared to capital letters and the managers unanimously ruled out the option as GOD cannot be written in small letters. Now the managers' decision sounds like common sense to me as I am more exposed to global fundaes like culture and values.

When I was getting ragged at IIT, funda was the big word which I found did not have any particular meaning and can be used at your own convenience to make meaningful talk out of your crappy fundaes. Similarly in management global and gyan can be used conveniently to show off your global gyan. Well if you read the last line of the previous paragraph carefully, you see a mixture of both cultures imbibed in me (when I involuntarily used the term global fundaes). GOD save IITIIMs.

Continuing...

Hi,

In management, they say, the strategy of a firm should emerge. The management should only provide an umbrella. Similarly, I feel the theme for my blogs should emerge on its own. So without restricting myself to the theme I was following, lemme try new things. After two blogs on cats, I started thinking about cats and came across a very interesting trivia that a cat spends 30% of its life grooming itself. Well, I have some friends who do better than that. That was mainly because of the water problem at Chennai. Some of them spent their summers at Chennai and had to end up with some 20 baths in 55 days. One of my friends even kept a count. He says he had got enough time for self-introspection at that time, but doesn't understand how. I explained to him that his friends left him to self-introspect because they thought they have better things to smell. We used to have many monkeys running around our hostels that time. One of my senoirs would say a monkey would never ransack my room. His logic is a monkey comes to my room, looks at things, thinks it is already ransacked and leaves. One day I told him a monkey has ransacked my room. He apprieciated my observation because I could distinguish between the current mess and the earlier mess. Talking about monkeys, if a cat spends 30% time of its life grooming itself, I guess a monkey spends that much time grooming other monkeys. Grooming is a substitute for taking bath. I feel the soap-sellers should realise this before some smart guy like me comes up with a clean all product that would scratch you and can be used as a substitute for soaps.